Test Anxiety

 

I more than passed my final! I owned it!

I had test anxiety leading into my final for college algebra.  Although determined, I was in a mode of second guessing my abilities.  How strange is it to be a person that motivates others, yet finds myself needing that very important piece?  I was concerned from Thursday, of the previous week, due to the snow and sleet precipitating during my drive to the school for tutoring.  Bound and determined, I made it to the school in an hour.  It normally takes fifteen minutes!  After only ninety minutes, I left as they were deciding to close the school down, due to weather and driving conditions worsening.  There was no opportunity to take advantage of tutoring throughout the weekend, due to the school being closed, and my daughter's school was closed until Wednesday.  I was overwhelmed with the fact that I could not receive tutoring.  Therefore, I pressed on to find YouTube videos and published assistance through the software that came with my math book.  

Test day arrived, and I was ready...or so I thought!  Ten minutes before class, I completely powered-off my phone to prepare for the test.  In my mind I told myself, “I'm doing pretty well for a student who started with a 65% and is currently at an 85%”.  Well, that was how I felt as I psyched myself into optimism through those last few minutes.  Five minutes before the test, my professor stated the test would last until 4:30.  Class is usually over by 3:45; I did not plan for 4:30.  I visualized a blinking alarm clock!  I thought, "I have a 4:15 client thirty minutes away from the school"!  I reached for my phone and powered-up.  As I typed the pass code, the little black dots remained absent, as if there were no entries.  Again, I typed the pass code.  Still nothing appeared in the passcode box.  Panic mode had set in!  I could not power the phone off!  The professor warned us, multiple times, that "If your phone goes off, rings, buzzes, or any distractions during the test, YOU GET AN F!"  NO!  I had no way of contacting my client about this time problem, and I could not turn my phone off.  Nearly one minute before the test, the power-off struggle was over; it worked.  It was completely turned off.  

As soon as I looked up, my college algebra professor was in front of me with the test sliding my way.  I'm always the last student to receive my test, and now the first?  Oh, how I thought this was a negative sign.  I took a deep breath in, picked up the pencil, and began to view my first problem.  I remembered Sequences and Series.  Now, why could I not solve such an easy problem?  I needed to figure the first four terms of this series, but it seemed like hieroglyphics.  It was as if I had never worked such a problem.  That was not a good sign.  I worked, then erased, and worked and erased, again.  What was I doing?  I decided to skip it and move to the next problem.  Well, I developed a severe case of anxiety.  As I worked problem two, I noticed the use of my eraser was inevitable.  Never had I used the eraser as much as I had used it that day.  It was not a comfortable feeling.  Instead of erasing, I've always drawn a line through my work and continued to work the problem.  

Nearly thirty minutes had gone by, before I turned the first of four pages over.  At that rate, I knew the two hour test was going to be a challenge.  “Breathe deeply”, I tell myself.  “You've got this.  You were confident while doing the homework.  You can do it.”  The rest of the test became fluid.  Halfway through the test, I have an odd solution to a variable that would be used to plug in to a formula.  This value was a fraction with a square root in the numerator.  Not one problem in any of my homework had any such solution.  I could not accept the radical in the numerator.  I chose to rework the problem after I finished the rest of the problems.  I found another fraction that was unusually small.  After a few attempts, with the same solution, I left the answer as I had solved it.  In the end, I returned to my ‘radical frenzy’.  Yes, it had a name.  I did not like it.  Can we not favor a math problem?  Sure we can!  I did not like this.  My decision was made.  Take it and move on.  

All answers were duplicated onto an answer sheet.  I gathered the four pages and answer sheet to deliver to my professor.  As I stood up to walk towards him, I realize that I was the last student in the class!  So, my next thought was that I must find out the solution to my radical in the numerator of a fraction problem.  Much to my surprise I was right!  Well, only for that variable!  Being completely fixated on the radical, I overlooked the actual problem and did not plug it in for the final solution!  We glanced over my answer sheet to see how I possibly did, without going over the entire test.  As far as the answers looked, he stated I had only three or four problems missed!  I was ecstatic!  Considering the struggles I had with the course, and having taken it a second time, I will succeed!  My professor was also head of the math department!  He asked if I were taking trigonometry next.  My reply, "No, but if I have extra time, I'd be up for a challenge.  My first priorities are to complete all prerequisites this spring!  I am applying for the radiologic technologist program."  He looked me straight in the eyes and said “I'd choose you”.  That meant so much coming from a department head who reminds me of the characters Spock, from Star Trek, and Sheldon, from The Big Bang Theory.  The anticipation of my test grade had weighed on me heavily, until last night.  I made an 89%!  I'll take that!  I am holding a solid B for the course!  I do not have to take it, again!

I wanted to ace this class.  It was my second time taking College Algebra.  I was not going to sink or fail, but I was also not happy with a D.  I visualized scoring and maintaining a B.  Through continued practice and accepting assistance in tutoring, I did succeed!  You can achieve whatever you set your mind to.  All you have to do is make that decision and make your dreams a reality! 

Death by ENERGY!

I had heard about a few people dying from energy pills, but did not take it serious.  Looking back, I should have better utilized my resources to search for the data in the link below.  Ouch!  My heart goes out to the families impacted by these pills.

Tachycardia!  At the time, I had no idea of the word or the terminology.  Let’s just say that the drinks and the pills resulted in my heart beating rapidly.  I was pretty energized and warn down, at the same time!  I trusted that the drink was sold in stores and the pills were from GNC, so they had to be safe, right?  Well, unbenounced to me and likely the rest of the American population, they were a bad mix!  I did not use it for dieting or fat burning.  It was solely to keep me on my feet while I was awake on little to no sleep.  I would only get three to four hours of sleep.  That was no way to live.  

Eventually, I opened up to listening to what my body was trying to tell me.  There were signs of my heart racing, feeling out of breath and dehydrated, along with jittery hands.  My energy drinks and pill-popping days are over.

http://www.fda.gov/ohrms/dockets/98fr/95n-0304-bkg0003-ref07-42-table22.pdf

I Needed the Energy

Where do you get your source of energy?  When you have that feeling that all of the energy has been wiped from you, what is your first thought for an energy source?  Regardless of the time, we want to be able to go about our day without worrying about being tired.  Energy drinks have become the craze, since the late ‘90s.  Back then, I was excessively using energy drinks and ingesting energy pills to stay alert and cognitive throughout my waking hours.  I worked seventy to ninety hour work weeks, between three jobs, and still managed to spend one to three hours each day in the gym.  The only thing that kept me going were SoBe Citrus Energy drinks and Ripped Fuel energy capsules.  The drink was not enough.  I’d have two to three throughout the day.  Mid-day, I would take a Ripped Fuel to pump up my energy so I could make it through the second job.  I did not realize what I was doing to my body, and am quite surprised I am still alive!  While typing this blog, I nonchalantly browsed Google to find these two items.  Surprisingly, the second thing listed under Ripped Fuel was startling!   

Upsold and Questioning My Decision

So, we went from a $75 manicure and pedicure price point for the two of us, to a $100 price point! What was included in this, I continue to ask myself?  A regular pedicure, flowers and a rhinestone on the big toes for my daughter, and a manicure with the special gel stuff.  Now, I felt completely obligated to smile and express my enthusiasm.  All the while, my mind was wondering why I wanted all this in the first place.  Well, I have continued to break promises and plans to work with my daughter.  I kept putting off simply cutting, painting, and creating my own designs.  Sure, I’m good at doing manicures and pedicures.  I used to do them all the time, before becoming a mother.  It became less frequent once I started personal training, and even less time since returning to college!  Why not splurge?  I pointed out several issues, and they kindly corrected them.  I could see her joy, not only in her eyes, but her disposition was free and happy!  How could I have delayed another nail day?  We leave with our nails finished.  Wow, $100 in just over an hour’s worth of two pairs of hands and feet!  Next time, I make time!

Now, what exactly is this gel stuff?  I “Googled” a few articles online.  I think I’ll have to go pay more money to have this stuff removed, because it’s not what I thought it to be.  Apparently, it is not acrylic, but some special material that if taken off wrong, it can strip or damage my nail.  The research continues…