Killing a Toddler over Insecurities and Obsession?!

A father made the decision to kill his 19 month old daughter and turn the gun on himself, because he could not be with the mother.  Apparently the relationship was at a boiling point that had left the mother wanting to leave for both her daughter’s safety as well as her own safety.  What goes on in the mind of a man who wants to cause harm on a woman that is fed up and wants to leave?  Who has to pay the price?  Why was murder and suicide the only solution?  What could have been done to prevent this?  We can only ask questions and speculate, but what is “right”?  How about the timing to leave?

Many people do not realize that relationships are not the perfect picture painted in the movies and books.  Just as friendships and employment, there are ups and downs.  It’s how we comprehend and work with what we have.  Unfortunately, McKoy has chosen to inflict death to the precious daughter of the woman he could no longer harm.  I’m not trying to say what he did was right, but the majority of his mentality was likely developed over time and through his upbringing and culture.  Prevention is not as easy as many people think. 

You can call the police, file a VPO (victim protection order), and end the relationship.  But, depending on the mentality of the perpetrator, he could likely come after the victim with no concern to having been warned by the law.  It becomes a matter of “tunnel vision”.  He knows what he wants, and if he is told he can’t have it, he will do whatever it takes to obtain it.  That includes unlawful acts.  My heart goes out to Phanthavongsa.  

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/man-details-daugther-murder-facebook-article-1.1521656

{At the time of this article the father was taken to a hospital in critical condition.  He is now pronounced dead.}
 

7 Things You May Not Know About Me

Ha!  I can no longer say I do not play these games!  Surprisingly, I received a private Facebook message from my friend, Destiny Caporaletti Wbff Pro, because I “Liked” her status.  Now, I am leaving you to 7 things you may not know about me and my quirky self.  (By no means is this in any order.) 

1.       I’m not as organized as everyone thinks. 

2.       I find gratitude in helping those who accept to change their behaviors, and despise wasting energy on those who only talk about change.  (If you want change you have to make a change in your behavior.  If you don’t put effort into making that change, then don’t expect the outcome to be any different than where it was and still is.)

3.       I have a keen sense of smell. 

4.       I am taking college courses.

5.       I have had “hurdles” in my life that made me stronger; I strive to master my goals. 

6.       I was a “Tom-Boy” growing up and I played with Barbie dolls, GI Joes, M.U.S.C.L.E. Men, RAMBO, My Little Pony, He-Man, She-Ra, and Star Wars toys in the backyard (mud, dirt, rocks, bark, leaves, in the ground, on the trees, rooftops, etc).

7.       I learned to accept letting go…

Climbing For Fun!

Outside I would go, each and every day of my childhood and adolescent years.  My father was quite the adamant military parent who cared more about the health and active lifestyles of his children.  His focus was to get us out of the house, or, as he would state, “Go outside and play”.  I loved it!  I would do anything to get out of the house, as well as the rest of friends.  I learned how to climb trees, chain linked and wooden fences, flower garden walls, vehicles, and anything that was along the outer frame of a house that would allow me to grab on with my hands and feet to get to the rooftop!  Yes!  I loved the thrill of climbing to the top of anything I could get my hands on!  The other amusing piece of climbing anything was strategically working on how to return to the ground.  Most of the time, I would find myself retracing my steps.  The few times I chose otherwise, by leaping from the roof to the next rooftop of a two story house, or quite frankly, the ground!  Sure, there could have been broken bones.  But, that never happened.  The good thing that came out of this was that my body was in motion, each and every day!  I tested my body for the sake of fun!  The effort was not because I had to move.  The love and passion for delving into new and intriguing experiences kept me in the flow of wanting more from the outdoors! 

The Things We Did While Playing Outside

As a child, I rarely sat in front of the television, and computers in the home were far from the norm.  Instead, the great outdoors were my means to childhood enjoyment.  Those moments were well anticipated and innocently relished.  Regardless of rain or shine, or cold or hot temperatures, my motivation was simply running, climbing, riding my bicycle, jumping, digging, planting, and even raking leaves!  Each moment spent outside meant the world to not only me, but my friends!  There was not a worry in the air.  Scheduling playdates was unheard of.  Our method of checking if a friend could play was to truly go to their house and knock on the door.  The odds of them being home and allowed to join me were in my favor!  We would frequently go to several friends’ homes throughout the neighborhood to gather the most people to just play outside.  While playing on the ground as we mixed dirt and water with a spoon, not once did we think our end result would be pure fun that left us happy and quite a muddy mess!  Our next move was to run to the water hose to play in the water, while we accomplished the absolutely exciting mission of rinsing the muck from ourselves!  Now, I ask myself, “Why is it that parents, including myself, do not allow our children these joys of childhood?” 

Wow! I handled the situation much different than I would have...over 10 years ago!

Anger?  

Frustration? 

Why?

Can I understand?

Hmmm.  I’m sitting in my college cafeteria, eating and studying.  Two tables to the left of me 6 students laughing and judging others.  The table immediately to my left was a student playing on her cell phone.  The chatter from two tables over seemed to be too distracting for me to complete my studying along with my post-workout lunch.  I chose to plug-in to 8tracks, http://8tracks.com/thegirlnamedjedrzejko/ultimate-study-playlist-i, and listen to a study playlist that I absolutely enjoy.  Yes, it is music to my ears, literally!  Classical and soundtrack music to drown out the chatter and distractions was all that I could do to stay focused on my homework.  It worked!  Well, that was before another student quickly enters “my” area with a boom box for a cell phone!  Yeah, remember the 1980’s boom boxes that would blast the streets, rooms, or where ever the batteries could survive?!  I was upset with the fact that I could not hear my music, due to his loud blaring and offensive music!  I remember the days I played my music loud, and disregarding those around me.  If given the opportunity to reverse time, I would not repeat that tacky behavior.  After briefly packing my belongings to head to class 20 minutes early, I walked over to the guy and gave him a bit of insight.  All of what came out of my mouth was with good taste.  Before explaining my frustration, I informed the stranger that I listen to all kinds of music.  I approached the topic by presenting my dissatisfaction with his choice of playing the music without considering those around him.  While I’m studying, he’s entering the area with music louder than all conversations combined in the cafeteria.  Go ahead and laugh.  My next comment was a kind suggestion to purchase earphones to enjoy his music without offending the people around him.  His response was that he had lost his on Monday.  I replied with empathy.  Then suggested the bookstore, where I believe I have seen a variety for sale.  It was time for me to go.  I filled my lungs with air and slowly released my breath to begin my path to class.  Whoosah!